By Tim Tebow-
(CBS) I would love to have tried my hand at taking Rick Reilly’s epically awful column on the Washington football team name to the woodshed—it’s really one that only serves to devolve society—but Bobby Big Wheel over at Kissing Suzy Kolber and Dave Zirin of The Nation beat me to it and did far better jobs at it than I would have done.
Reilly’s is a column that has managed to crawl to the top of the massive pile of derpy feces he has churned out since leaving Sports Illustrated and retiring from writing, and with his self-plagiarizing and other fustercluckery that is no small feat.
Quelling my initial desire to eat my computer after reading the piece de whitesplaines, many people besides Misters Wheel and Zirin have realized that this is one of the worst pieces of writing ever allowed for public consumption for various reasons, whether they be Reilly’s lack of acknowledging logical opposing arguments, using Indian terms as punchlines, his omission of Native Americans that take offense at the name, Reilly is Rick Reilly and should be locked in an aquarium with Portuguese man o’ war , etc.
That said, there is still a bother that lingers in my heart and head that I had from the start of reading his bag of stupid passed off as reason—very ignorant people who were losing this nickname debate just had their flame of misknowledge stoked by a very famous person. People with stupid arguments thrive on such a thing. “Ooooh, famous person agrees with me on something lots of people are saying is incredibly wrong! I must be right!” It’s the worst use of ethos. Rick Reilly is the Washington football equivalent of Jenny McCarthy and Rob Schneider, which I’m sure he’s fine with since he’s probably a big Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo fan and boobs that aren’t Rob Schneider.
Using logic against people so beholden to a racist team name will be a tougher sell for a while now because they have their celebrity endorsement. So instead let’s make fun of them because the pros of doing so far outweigh the cons (thanks to @BvrlyBrewmaster for that link, by the way).
THE TAKES. THEY ARE TOO HOT. WEAR PROTECTIVE GEAR FOR THE REILLY TAKES. WARNING: YOU MAY NOT SUE IF YOU SPILL THE TAKES ON YOUR LAP. YOU MAY LEAVE THESE TAKES SANS EYEBROWS.
THE TAKES ARE NOT ONLY HOT. THEY ARE STRONG. STRONG AND HOT. #HOTSTRONG.
The first of several “Well, I normally don’t agree with Rick Reilly, but he makes me feel better about my ignorance endorse his brilliance” tweets I came across.
I have to disagree with you on that because I’m on the side of the debate that involves not being a dumbass.
Well damn done, Rick. It takes courage to step out and be so absolutely wrong in a plane-crash of a column. Whether I agree or not, I just have to step back and clap it up for a complete disregard for what people who aren’t terrible will think. Respect.
No, it’s not interesting. It’s bad. Very, very bad. And not like in a lack of talent way. In a perpetuating illogical thought way. Sometimes it’s important to examine another side of an issue. This is not one of them because the other side is in favor of further subjugating a group of people based on skin color. Stop complimenting people for daring to brave the storm of intelligent consensus.
You on point, Rick?
All the time, Deek
You on point, Rick?
Yeah, all the time, Deek
You on point, Rick?
Yo, all the time, Deek
So play the resurrector and give this crap some ink
Okay, if knowledge is the key then just show me the lock
Taking it up for white people with my little ad hoc
With speed. I’m agile plus I’m worth your while
My wife’s 50% percent intelligent Native child
My thesis presentation sizzles the Broca
How far must I go to get a look? Uh
Well, it’s kind of simple, just enpower the dolts
And then I won’t have to feel so alone
Industry rule number four thousand and eighty
People who write for the money are shady
So kids watch your back cause PC is up your crack
I don’t doubt it. Look at how they act
Off to better things like a commencement speech
Pass me the mic and I’ll preach how to be a leech
Proper. What you say, Werder? Proper
Red is not bad, so sorry if it makes you has a sad
Can we all agree that guys with selfies in cowboy hats are not allowed to say “on point?”
There it is. Make it a Right vs. Left issue where somehow the Left being not racist is a bad thing. By the way, when did Peter King become our nation’s foremost bleeding heart? (Not counting his last coronary calcium scan that found a Zagnut lodged in there.)
Do we really want to go down the list of past American “traditions” that have dealt with race? And maybe this isn’t an endorsement of Reilly’s column, but it’s an incredibly dumb question to ask either way.
THIS is the former nickname of a school in Illinois (among some other proud classics) that was long defending on the basis of tradition. Because traditions are always full of sound logic and trump subjugation of people. So THAT is what you are lining yourself up with. Golf clap.
For more of the brilliance of the DC SPORTSDUDE, the loudest and dumbest supporter of the team name I’ve seen the past few weeks, click here.
No, it’s faulty logic masquerading as “But shouldn’t people who think something isn’t racist have their opinions respect the same as those who do think it’s racist? This is America, right?” And history has always proved the people who thought something wasn’t racist to be the bright ones, right?
I don’t. Many other people don’t. And no columnist is going to whitesplain that away. “Hey, let’s look at this racial slur through a lens of it not being racist. See? Isn’t that better?” Doesn’t work that way, just like calling yourself “Paddy O’Furniture” doesn’t make you creative or funny or likely to be taken seriously. And this isn’t how “the natives” see it. It’s how some people that Reilly searched out see it. For example, in the town of Wellpinit, WA, he found some support, but he conveniently didn’t happen to ask probably the most famous person from there, Indian writer Sherman Alexie, his thoughts on the matter.
Rick Reily. Pretty good.
Yeah, see because if the people who agree with the premise of the column but were needed to give the column legs don’t have a problem with it, then it shouldn’t be an issue. These same damn PC police probably managed to get spousal spanking to be a taboo, too, even though there was strong support for it.
This isn’t difficult. A team’s name is rooted in the genocide of a people. That’s not an opinion. And if a team’s name “only exists because there was a genocide, then it might be time to think up a new name.”
But, hey, I’m just one person backed by a “superminority” of really intelligent, rational people. Not like, say, the always august Chief Illiniwek Facebook page, where I assume there’s a decent crossover of those who also post on The Score’s Facebook page.
Have a fantastic weekend.
Tim Baffoe attended the University of Iowa before earning his degree from Governors State University and began blogging at The Score after winning the 2011 Pepsi Max Score Search. He enjoys writing things about stuff, but not so much stuff about things. When not writing for 670TheScore.com, Tim corrupts America’s youth as a high school English teacher and provides a great service to his South Side community delivering pizzas (please tip him and his colleagues well). You can follow Tim’s inappropriate brain droppings on Twitter @TimBaffoe , but please don’t follow him in real life. He grew up in Chicago’s Beverly To read more of Tim’s blogs click here.
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